Friday, May 31, 2013

Facing fear...

That's me in 2001.

Saturday marks graduation day for our Gar-Pal High School seniors! A time of excitement and anticipation, it can also hold a bit of trepidation. So in light of this time of stepping out into the great unknown, I'm taking a look back at a moment when I faced a fear of my own...and lived to tell the story.

My computer dictionary describes FEAR this way: "An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat."

That sums it up well.

I am plagued by fear. It’s been that way ever since I can remember, ever since I was a little girl. Indeed, that was the defining attribute behind the painfully-shy-girl-with-blue-glasses and her oddities.

I do have typical fears: fear of heights, for example, that makes me wonder how in the world I ever mustered the courage to parasail a dozen years ago. A milestone birthday for my dearest friend, I had a buy-one-get-one-free-coupon and I wanted to give her something to remember. As you can imagine, if one is afraid of heights, parasailing is pretty much terrifying. Yet I did it. That’s me. Photographic proof. 

Yet more often than not, my fears are not at all typical. They are irrational and exhausting. 

I am particularly fearful in social situations. I am constantly haunted by what I said, or didn’t say, or should’ve said. I always assume I did something wrong or said something that will be misunderstood. I watch with envy those lucky souls who sail through social encounters with grace and ease as if they never even give it a thought. Meanwhile, I am sweating in the corner. I'm often told you'd never know I feel that way. I've worked in many jobs dealing with the public (even a grocery store ;), but inside I am a jumbled pile of nerves. 

So, all of this to say that no matter how afraid of something (rational or irrational) you may be, there’s a parasailer somewhere deep inside all of us. Just remember to take a picture. 

Twelve years later you may be glad you have proof.

Congratulations, Graduates! 
-The Grocer's Wife

P.S. Saturday is the 9th Annual Spring BBQ & Hot Rod Gathering on Main Street, Palouse! Click HERE for details!