Thursday, March 21, 2013

On life and the market...


The Grocer and I own a market. No surprise there, eh? 

It’s just that sometimes I wonder if the things that I write of from time to time here are appropriate in that business-y world. Sometimes I wonder if people click on the blog and think: “Woa…what does that have to do with the market?”  But for me, life and the market go hand in hand. So heads-up, this is one of those posts. Nothing to do with canned goods, fresh meat, or produce here today. Nope. Just my ramblings about life in all its wonderful, messy, unpredictable, and sometimes-sad glory...

Today would have been my dad’s 85th birthday.

He died six years ago and I miss him. In fact, this year he is especially on my mind because my mom is not well.

Since 2006, The Grocer and I have lost my brother, my dad, his step-dad, and his dad.

It feels like a lot of loss. And while it is an expected and normal part of life, there are moments when the magnitude of the missing people in one’s life becomes inescapable.

In many ways it is true that losing someone you love gets easier with time. Life goes on. Days turn into weeks and months and years. Still it always shocks me how—out of nowhere and oftentimes for no apparent reason—missing someone can flare up with a palpable ache that is unlike any other.

I've read that in French the way we say I miss you becomes something akin to you are missing from me (tu me manqués). And that is how I feel often with regard to my loved ones who are now gone. 

Yet I hope this post doesn't read as a woe-is-me soliloquy. 

To be sure, my life is filled with so many completely wonderful things that I sometimes feel guilty. I know, too, that I am lucky to have had those we’ve lost in our lives to begin with.

It’s just that today, on my dad’s birthday, he is missing from me. And sometimes it helps just to say it. 

-The Grocer's Wife