|That's me (with my telltale blue glasses) and my fam, circa 1970-ish.|
As the last few days of 2011 wind down, my thoughts turn to what lies ahead in the new year.
In my younger days, I often did the resolution thing vowing to “lose ten pounds"..."give up diet soda"..."be more outgoing" (like that's going to happen – once the painfully-shy-girl-with-blue-glasses – always the painfully-shy-girl-with-blue-glasses).
And, while I'd enter January with my newfound goals and gusto, it never took more than a few weeks (sometimes days) before real life squashed my resolve to bits and I'd end up feeling like I blew it again.
These days, I avoid the resolution road.
I still try to work on things, be-a-better-me and all, but I'm just trying not to beat myself up so much when the progress I make can be measured in inches instead of miles.
I think it's safe to say that at just shy of 45, I'm probably never going to find myself suddenly the life of the party. That's just not me. I'll probably always struggle with anxiety in crowds, see myself as socially a bit awkward, and be most comfortable when I can communicate via the written word (like here) versus talking out loud.
So instead of constantly being frustrated at 'that girl' who just can't seem to change, this year I'm making an 'un-resolution resolution' and I'm trying to accept that maybe she's okay just the way she is.
And, if that doesn't work...I really do need to cut back on my diet soda ;)
-The Grocer's Wife